Dear Family,
How are you?! I guess you know by now that I arrived safely in Washington. Hopefully you got my letter already but if not I made it here safely! We got here and spent the first night in the mission home which was really nice. My mission president and his wife are really nice and I am excited to learn from them. My companion's name is Sister Alard. She is from Provo, Utah and reminds me a lot of Nikki Nelson. She is a really hard-working missionary. Her dad is Cuban and she minored in Spanish at BYU so her spanish is really really good. My spanish on the other hand is not so good. I hope that I am able to learn from her rather than using her spanish as a crutch. She is really patient though which I appreciate.
These past few days have taught me that I still have quite a bit to learn about being patient with myself. I have realized how inadequate my spanish is since coming here. I wanted so badly to get here and be able to understand what people were saying. I wanted to be able to express my concern for them but I felt like I was unable to even communicate in a small way. We even taught a lesson on Saturday night in english and I felt like I was struggling, even in my native tongue, to connect with what I was saying and for the spirit to be present. That made me really sad because I love this gospel and it has meant everything to me in my life but as I was saying those words I felt phony and uncomfortable. Saturday night we had our ward Christmas Party. I have always been a really outgoing person but I found myself feeling really awkward and unable to communicate. I tried to help where I could at the party but I felt really disconnected. Sunday I became really frustrated at church because I couldn't understand much of what was being said and I felt like I needed some kind of spiritual upliftment and I wasn't receiving it because I couldn't understand what was being said. During sacrament meeting we sang the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" and I just broke down crying. I felt terrible that I was crying and was honestly really prideful about the whole thing. After church Hermana Alard asked me what was going on. As I expressed my concerns to her she pointed out that I had helped out at the Christmas party. I told her that I felt like that was all I could do. She then said that in the scriptures we don't know a lot about what the Savior said but we do know what he did. He served people. I realized then that I need to stop worrying so much about me and instead seek to serve everywhere I go. Through serving the people I interact with they will be able to feel the love that I am unable to convey through my words.
This morning I read a couple of talks during personal study. One was Sister Reeves' talk from the Relief Society session of General Conference. In it she told the story of Lazarus, Mary and Martha. She talks about how perhaps the most compassionate sentence in all of scripture is "And Jesus wept." I realized that it was okay for me to cry yesterday and that I was being really hard on myself because I want to be a good missionary. I imagine that if Jesus had been here He would have cried with me because He loves me. He wouldn't have belittled my feelings of inadequacies because He has felt the ache that I feel in my heart and He knows what it feels like. He wants me to be a good missionary too but He knows that I can't do it alone and when I try to do it alone instead of turning to Him when He has already suffered for my feelings of inadequacies it hurts Him. Hermana Alard also gave me a talk about the enabling power of the atonement. As I read that talk I realized that this is something that I am completely unable to do on my own but if I will turn to my Heavenly Father and my Savior I will be able to have the strength to do what I was called to do. I cannot do this alone but if I will rely on the Atonement then I will be able to do anything that my Heavenly Father needs me to do. This experience will change me for the rest of my life as I will learn that I can do hard things and that my weaknesses can become strengths.
Doris and Rosa, who are a mother and daughter that have a baptismal date for the end of this month, were sick this week and I have been unable to teach them a real lesson yet but I am looking forward to that. We were able to stop by a family's home on Friday and invited them to the Christmas party. Apparently there had been a misunderstanding in the past with some sisters in the past but they seemed really happy that we came by and came to the Christmas party the next night. I think they could be incredible members. We have taught some good lessons and I am excited to see what happens in the future with our investigators! We found a few new people that seem like really great prospects. Another thing that is neat is a lot of the hispanic people here have kids that speak english. The sisters have been teaching a less-active lady's daughters and I have met them but have not had a chance to teach them yet. I love working with teenagers so I'm hoping that I can help them. We are also teaching a Cuban family who has a 15 year old son that is a stud. I think the saddest thing to me so far is seeing the environment that kids are raised in. It has made me so incredibly grateful though for the home that I was raised in and for the love that exists in our family.
I received three packages in three days when I got here which was so nice! Mama, thank you so much for the skirt! I loved it! Tell Barbara that I said thank you for the treats! They were delicious and tasted like a little piece of home! Lynette sent me a package with 12 Days of Christmas (I knew I was nice to her when she was on bedrest for a reason :) and it has been so fun to open the gifts but I have enjoyed even more reading the talks she attached! It is the perfect missionary package! Kim Pearson and Goldsboro's YW sent me a package with gifts wrapped and scriptures attached for me to guess what was inside! That has been really fun! And the tissues came in handy when we ran out of toilet paper on Sunday! I have loved hearing from everyone here and your notes mean more to me than you know!
This morning I read a couple of talks during personal study. One was Sister Reeves' talk from the Relief Society session of General Conference. In it she told the story of Lazarus, Mary and Martha. She talks about how perhaps the most compassionate sentence in all of scripture is "And Jesus wept." I realized that it was okay for me to cry yesterday and that I was being really hard on myself because I want to be a good missionary. I imagine that if Jesus had been here He would have cried with me because He loves me. He wouldn't have belittled my feelings of inadequacies because He has felt the ache that I feel in my heart and He knows what it feels like. He wants me to be a good missionary too but He knows that I can't do it alone and when I try to do it alone instead of turning to Him when He has already suffered for my feelings of inadequacies it hurts Him. Hermana Alard also gave me a talk about the enabling power of the atonement. As I read that talk I realized that this is something that I am completely unable to do on my own but if I will turn to my Heavenly Father and my Savior I will be able to have the strength to do what I was called to do. I cannot do this alone but if I will rely on the Atonement then I will be able to do anything that my Heavenly Father needs me to do. This experience will change me for the rest of my life as I will learn that I can do hard things and that my weaknesses can become strengths.
Doris and Rosa, who are a mother and daughter that have a baptismal date for the end of this month, were sick this week and I have been unable to teach them a real lesson yet but I am looking forward to that. We were able to stop by a family's home on Friday and invited them to the Christmas party. Apparently there had been a misunderstanding in the past with some sisters in the past but they seemed really happy that we came by and came to the Christmas party the next night. I think they could be incredible members. We have taught some good lessons and I am excited to see what happens in the future with our investigators! We found a few new people that seem like really great prospects. Another thing that is neat is a lot of the hispanic people here have kids that speak english. The sisters have been teaching a less-active lady's daughters and I have met them but have not had a chance to teach them yet. I love working with teenagers so I'm hoping that I can help them. We are also teaching a Cuban family who has a 15 year old son that is a stud. I think the saddest thing to me so far is seeing the environment that kids are raised in. It has made me so incredibly grateful though for the home that I was raised in and for the love that exists in our family.
I received three packages in three days when I got here which was so nice! Mama, thank you so much for the skirt! I loved it! Tell Barbara that I said thank you for the treats! They were delicious and tasted like a little piece of home! Lynette sent me a package with 12 Days of Christmas (I knew I was nice to her when she was on bedrest for a reason :) and it has been so fun to open the gifts but I have enjoyed even more reading the talks she attached! It is the perfect missionary package! Kim Pearson and Goldsboro's YW sent me a package with gifts wrapped and scriptures attached for me to guess what was inside! That has been really fun! And the tissues came in handy when we ran out of toilet paper on Sunday! I have loved hearing from everyone here and your notes mean more to me than you know!
I LOVE YOU!
-Hermana Jones
SKYPE INFO- I will be able to skype on Christmas Day. I will be on at 12 your time, 9 my time! I look forward to talking to you then! My skype name will be hdz_kj If I am not online and we have problems connecting our cell phone number is 509-308-7179. I love you! See you then!
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